


not bang chan

by changbinnies



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, chan is just kinda a fool but also a genius at the same time, chan struggling to go undercover on stan twt, minho is stan twt queen, no relationships yet but that may change as the story progresses! idk yet!, stan twitter universe, they’re still idols!, this is kinda dumb but i like to think i’m funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changbinnies/pseuds/changbinnies
Summary: in a world where only chan and minho are undercover on twitter, everyone but chan knows what stan twt is (but at least he knows what a keyboard smash is)





	1. what’s a local

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this is a Crack Fic! pls do not take any of this seriously.
> 
> all names and usernames are made up !! i’m sorry if i accidentally happen to use your name or username :0

**private chat: chan and minho**

 

 **Chan:** How do I get the dark mode on Twitter?

 **Chan:** It seems much better on my eyes at night

 **minhoe:** channie!!! you got a twitter?

 **Chan:** Yeah… Woojin said it would be good idea

 **minhoe:** drop the @

 **Chan:** What?

 **minhoe:** the @

 **minhoe:** ya know

 **minhoe:** the username

 **Chan:** Ohhh! It’s @bangbangchann

 **Chan:** @bang.chan was taken :(

 **minhoe:** oh channie baby

 **minhoe:** what am i gonna do with you

 **Chan:** What does that mean? And call me hyung!!!

 **minhoe:** of COURSE @bang.chan was taken hskdjjd do u know how many stan twt accs there are for you?

 **Chan:** What’s stan twt?

 **minhoe:** beep beep LOCAL ALERT beep beep

 **Chan:** What’s a local?!?!

 

 **Chan:** Ok so about that night mode

•

**group chat: dancing queens**

 

 **minhoe:** BOYS we’ve got a local on our hands

 **jinnie:** NOOOOO who!!!!

 **felicks:** ew locals

 **minhoe:** the one and only channie baby

•

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 26m

hehehehe @bangbangchann doesn’t know how to use twt

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 26m

in response to @dancinggemlk

what a local

 

 **Not Bang Chan** @bangbangchann • 21m

in response to @dancinggemlk

Stop making fun of me!:(

 

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 16m

in response to @dancinggemlk

HAHAJSJ

 

 **saw skz 15/1/19 !!!** @straehykeedz • 8m

in response to @dancinggemlk

hehe cute

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 4m

in response to @bangbangchann

i kinda feel bad for u i guess so i’ll teach u

•

**private chat: chan and minho**

 

 **minhoe:** first things first

 **minhoe:** lapslock

 **Chan:** Lapslock?

 **Chan:** Wait, don’t tell me.

 **minhoe:**.

 **Chan:** Oh!

 **chan:** ok!

 **minhoe:** NICE

 **minhoe:** you’re a changed man!1!!1

 **chan:** thank you sir

 **minhoe:** huh w lapslock ur a lot closer to being a non-local than i thought

 **chan:** ok, you never answered my question. what’s a local?

 **minhoe:** don’t worry bout it

 **minhoe:** n e way

 **chan:** minho, those aren’t words?

 **minhoe:** use ur imagination channie

 **minhoe:** what could that Possibly Mean

 **chan:** kneeway?

 **minhoe:** CHANSKDHJD

 **minhoe:** oh boy we have got some work to do

 **chan:** also, what’s with the Sudden Capitalization Of Some Words?

 **chan:** i thought we were doing the whole lapslock thing?

 **minhoe:** it’s

 **minhoe:** a Thing

 **chan:** OH

 **chan:** IT’S “ANYWAY”

 **chan:** wow. stay was right. i truly am an intellectual.

 **minhoe:** eye

 **minhoe:** okay

 **chan:** eye?

 **chan:** wait shhhh.

 

 **chan:** ok, i’ve given it much thought and still cannot figure out what “eye” means

 **chan:** also, this lapslock thing makes me feel weird

 **chan:** so unprofessional!

 **minhoe:** ok so eye is like

 **minhoe:** i

 **minhoe:** but spelled out cause that’s quirky

 **minhoe:** “i” as in i want to say something but i’m speechless!

 **chan:** that doesn’t really make sense… but okay.

 **chan:** teach me more!!

 **minhoe:** you MUST keep ur identity secret baby

 **chan:** minho i know that?

 **minhoe:** okie just making sure😎

 **chan:** can i interact with fans and stuff?

 **minhoe:** of courseee that’s what this is all for

 **minhoe:** just remember to never! give out your real name

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 34m

look @dancinggemlk ! lapslock! i am a real twitter user now.

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 30m

in response to @bangbangchann

i’m proud of you :,( still not quite there yet tho

•

**private chat: chan and minho**

 

 **chan:** why do all of these twitter accounts type funny?

 **minhoe:** wdym?

 **chan:** well those abbreviations

 **chan:** Sometimes They Do This

 **chan:** so many keyboard smashes! that can’t be safe

 **chan:** the grammar just doesn’t make sense

 **chan:** sometimes they use tiny tiny text? how does that even work

 **chan:** A LOT OF SCREAMING AND !#*@%&!@*^#*!(

 **minhoe:** SKDJFK

 **chan:** like that!! why do you guys do that?

 **minhoe:** it’s the essence of stan twt culture

 **chan:** again with the stan twt. what is that?

 **chan:** am i a stan twt?

 **minhoe:** uhh,,,,

 **minhoe:** ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵃ ˡᵒᶜᵃˡ

 **chan:** TINY TEXT!

 **chan:** give me a few minutes. i’ll figure this out

•

**private chat: chan and felix**

 

 **chan:** ok. so my theory is: stan twt people type like minho does and locals(?) don’t

 **chan:** am i right?

 **felicks:** OH MYGSOGSJ

 **felicks:** who’s asking

 **chan:** me, obviously?

 **felicks:** no like is minho hyung behind this

 **chan:** maybe…?

 **felicks:** skdjfl hyung ur so Cute

 **felicks:** yes ur right

 **chan:** thank you!

 **chan:** wait you type like that too

 **chan:** are you a stan twt too?

 **felicks:** no i am not /on/ stan twt

 **felicks:** woojin hyung said that we should keep the amount of people undercover as little as possible

 **felicks:** but the prospect of u on stan twt was too good to pass up

 **chan:** i see…

•

**private chat: chan and woojin**

 

 **chan:** wooj! i’m gonna be a stan twt-er

 **Woobear:** You mean, be on stan twt?

 **chan:** uh sure

 **Woobear:** Channie you’re so weird

 **chan:** minho is doing his best

 **Woobear:** Well. He should do better

 **chan:** HEY :(

•

**not bang chan retweeted**

**seungmin’s smile :(** @sunshineminnie • 5h

not to be dramatic but these are the most adorable pictures of seungmin i’ve ever seen

 

**not bang chan liked**

**elena** @jeonginsberets • 29m

i am LIVING for all of these chan undercover on stan twt theories

 

**not bang chan liked**

**happy hyunjoon & haknyeon day! **@_tbz_skz • 4h

i hope chan’s happy rn. just had a rly emo text convo w my best friend about how we hope skz is doing well all the time. hope chan is getting some Gud Hugs.

 

**not bang chan retweeted**

**for jisung** ☼ @softjisungpics • 2d

not pics of jisung,, but i’m here to say that i see remains the most powerful solo anyone has ever released everybody say thank you han jisung

•

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** i see u have been very

 **minhoe:** active

 **minhoe:** on twt these days

 **chan:** it’s fun!! i’m fulfilling their theories without them knowing

 **minhoe:** hehe u should drop some hints

 **minhoe:** Super Subtle though

 **minhoe:** start by actually posting content tho to get followers

 **chan:** can i post pics that only i have on my phone?

 **minhoe:** hmmMMmm that’s risky

 **minhoe:** if they look like they could be taken by a manager or smthg then sure i think

 **minhoe:** don’t ask wooj tho or else he’ll say no

 **chan:** okay

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 3m

i am bang chan

•

 **minhoe:** okay now that is NOT what i had in mind

 **chan:** but people are liking and retweeting it!

 **minhoe:** honestly ur kinda genius chan man

 **chan:** *hyung

 **chan:** yes i know

•

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 3h

guys this is SO FUNNY

> **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 4h
> 
> i am bang chan

•

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** good ! a big acc retweeted ur tweet

 **minhoe:** ohhhh baby this is gonna be good

 **chan:** lol

 **minhoe:** HE SLKDJFK

 **minhoe:** LOL INDEED

•

**group chat: dancing queens**

 

 **minhoe:** BOYS YOU WOULD NOT B E LIEV E

 **jinnie:**!!!! what

 **minhoe:** chan said “lol” I AM DIED

 **felicks:** AYYYY


	2. sat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan discovers subtle asian traits. it goes as well as one would expect it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, back with my buffoonery

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 3h

how did i get 16.7k retweets? my name clearly says that i am not bang chan. please disregard my earlier tweet

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2h

in response to @bangbangchann

okay somehow that got too many retweets also. am i bang chan or not? discuss below

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 1h

in response to @bangbangchann

are u a Fool what are u doing ur definitely not bang chan and i know it

 

 **jess** @cutiewoojins • 58m

in response to @dancinggemlk

what’s the truth

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 37m

in response to @cutiewoojins

he’s a filthy LIAR!! that’s my irl bestie and he’s just being stupid

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 3m

in response to @dancinggemlk

fake news.

 

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** oooo i like this channie baby

 **minhoe:** ur stirring up sum gud drama

 **chan:** call me hyung! >:(

 **chan:** also you spelled those wrong

 **chan:** unless that’s a stan twt thing too. i don’t know

 **chan:** seems kinda dumb to me

 **minhoe:** welcome to stan twt culture i guess

 **minhoe:** everything is dumb

 **chan:** well yeah i can tell since you’re on it

 **minhoe:** CHANNIE

 **minhoe:** :((

 **chan:** oh please

•

**private chat: jeongin and chan**

 

 **innie:** Hyung

 **chan:** yeah?

 **innie:** I logged on to our group twt today just to see updates

 **innie:** Have you seen that account pretending to be you while also pretending not to be you at the same time?

 **innie:** It’s called “not bang chan” or something and it seems to be stirring up a lot of drama…?

 **innie:** You might wanna check that out :0

 **chan:** sldfjkdfj okay

 **chan:** thanks for letting me know innie

 **innie:** Of course hyung!!

 

**private chat: chan and minho**

 

 **chan:** [attachment: 1 image]

 **minhoe:** WHAT A BABY

 **minhoe:** as they say, ignoring people is bliss

 **chan:** minho. that’s just NOT IT.

 **minhoe:** ignoring people is ???

 **chan:** ignorance is bliss.

 **chan:** ignorance.

 **minhoe:** ohhh of course

 **minhoe:** same thing

 **minhoe:** :P

 **chan:**...ahh. not quite

•

**private chat: felix and chan**

 

 **felicks:** YO CHAN HYUNG

 **chan:** yes?

 **felicks:** did you know that tablo-sunbaenim and eric nam-sunbaenim are in this facebook group called subtle asian traits???

 **chan:** they what?

 **felicks:** it’s a facebook group! it’s got over 1M people in it and they’re all asian

 **felicks:** they bond over memes about depression and parents with insanely high standards and storing plastic bags in plastic bags

 **chan:** i’m… not understanding

 **felicks:** it was also created by some asian facebook users from AUSTRALIA!!! how rad is that!!!

 **felicks:** you should definitely check it out!! fans would love to see u on there

 **chan:** uh, okay lix

 

**private chat: chan and woojin**

 

 **chan:** how do i work facebook?

 **Woobear:** You’re on Facebook now?

 **Woobear:** What’s next, Tumblr?

 **chan:** what’s tumblr?

 **Woobear:** Nothing

 **chan:** okay then

 **Woobear:** Facebook should be pretty self explanatory? If old grandmas can use it then so can you Channie

 **chan:** i suppose…

 

**private chat: chan and minho**

 

 **chan:** i’m joining facebook!

 **minhoe:** you What now

 **chan:** i said what i said

 **minhoe:** eye

 **minhoe:** okay

•

**Chris Bang → subtle asian traits**

**27m • 👥**

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE

 

_View all comments_

 

**Eric Nam**

Yo Chan! Nice seeing you here! :)

 

**Kevin Nguyen**

OI OI OI

 

**Janna Lee**

WHEN TF DID CHAN GET IN HERE

 

**Joe Ho**

**Nate Ho** who’s next, mark tuan??!!

•

**Chris Bang → subtle asian traits**

**23m • 👥**

clarification: management let me do this

•

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 7h

MY FRIEND WHOS IN SUBTLE ASIAN TRAITS SAYS CHAN IS IN IT

 

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 7h

in response to @spearbby

WHAT IS GOING ON

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 6h

in response to @spearbby

it’s me

 

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 5h

in response to @bangbangchann

why u gotta be so cryptic WHO ARE YOU

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2h

in response to @spearbby

read my name! i’m not chan

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2h

in response to @spearbby

i think

•

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 1h

i literally have screenshots of this acc saying that they are bang chan i am !!!!!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for putting up with me yuh


	3. brick-hyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan works on debunking myths. relationships advance.

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** channie baby

 **chan:** *hyung, but what do you want

 **minhoe:** jeez is that how you talk to your main dancer and choreographer?

 **minhoe:** the one who keeps the team alive?

 **minhoe:** the one who brought stray kids to fame?

 **chan:** minho

 **minhoe:** the one whose sex appeal attracted 80% of the fanbase?

 **minhoe:** sorry hehehe

 **chan:** you are so insufferable

 **minhoe:** are you writing my letter of exile to jyp right now

 **chan:** perhaps

 **minhoe:** So ANYWAY! i wanted to talk to you about ur whole twt fiasco

 **chan:** yes? what about it

 **minhoe:** goodness channie treat me with respect

 **minhoe:** “i’m your hyung”

 **chan:** i’m your hyung

 **minhoe:** HA

 **minhoe:** so you seem to be a little at a loss for what to do

 **minhoe:** am i right?

 **chan:** i’m not gonna answer that

 **chan:** i will agree with you but i will not give you the satisfaction of saying that you are correct

 **minhoe:** bleh

 **minhoe:** whtvr

 **minhoe:** since you’re on facebook now i think you should try to convince people on twt that you’re really not yourself?

 **minhoe:** cause if you show up on facebook and there’s an acc claiming to be (not be?) you it’ll be more suspicious

 **chan:** oh! minho you’re so smart

 **chan:** thank you for letting me know

 **minhoe:** i know. i’m the most valuable team member

 **chan:** i was kidding

 **chan:** i knew that already

 **minhoe:** i

 **minhoe:** can’t believe this

 **minhoe:** suddenly i gotta go

 **chan:** jisung asking for you?

 **minhoe:** SHUT UP

 **minhoe:** i hate you. i’m writing my own resignation letter right now

 **chan:** cool!

 **lee minho** has blocked **bang chan.**

**•**

**not bang chan retweeted**

sorry for the confusion! i am actually not chan (i think)! i just like messing with you guys!

 

> **nat** @peachywoojins • 1d
> 
> stay nation what we thinking. chan or not chan

 

**not bang chan retweeted**

**elena** @jeonginsberets • 3h

jeongin looked so hecking cute on asc. that’s all i love my boy

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 20m

i hope you guys saw my tweet ! i’m really sorry about all the confusion that i caused. i am not actually sure whether or not i am chan but we’re working on it

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 19m

in response to @bangbangchann

yes sorry i am so cryptic but @dancinggemlk and i are working on figuring out who i am

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 7m

in response to @bangbangchann

don’t listen to him. he’s kinda dumb and i don’t wanna help him so he’s on his own

•

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** i unblocked u just to say. inch resting

 **minhoe:** you’re going about this in an inch resting way

 **minhoe:** u should spice some things up

 **chan:** centimeter resting*

 **chan:** we are a metric system using nation and we will act as such

 **chan:** but i understood what inch resting meant!!

 **chan:** and don’t worry. i will spice things up soon enough

 **minhoe:** i really regret coming back

 **chan:** minho no.

 **chan:** you know i really cherish you, right?

 **minhoe:** OLD MAN YOU’RE SUCH A SAP

 **minhoe:** (but i know. wuv u 2 mwah mwah)

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 3h

i have gotten many dms about whether or not i am real/have seen the account in subtle asian traits. i cannot answer those questions! sorry!

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 3h

in response to @bangbangchann

you’ll have to use your best detective skills to figure out who i am :-)

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 3h

in response to @bangbangchann

god u really are an old man

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 46m

as an avid chan stan, here is a selfie that he posted on insta just now but immediately deleted. you’re welcome, everyone! good thing i was lucky enough to catch this before it was taken down

 

 **soph** @howtolovechan • 39m

in response to @bangbangchann

i love him. too bad he’s a little bitch

 

 **-g-s-** @nctbeingstupid • 34m

in response to @bangbangchann

look ! all of my uwus just dropped out of my ass !

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 22m

in response to @bangbangchann

wow we all wish we could be as good of a fan as u are

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 22m

in response to @dancinggemlk

thank you. i try my hardest

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 17m

in response to @bangbangchann

ew ur weird?

•

**private chat: felix and chan**

 

 **felicks:** M8 U RLY DONE DID WHAT I TOLD U TO

 **chan:** well?? yeah?

 **felicks:** gee okay hyung

 **felicks:** is minho-hyung helping you with this?

 **chan:** yeah

 **felicks:** oooOooOoOoh

 **chan:**?

 **felicks:** OOooOO O  OOOoooo o Oo  O

 **chan:** felix what are you doing

 **felicks:** heheheheheheh

 **chan:** are you gonna tell me or what?

 **felicks:** nothing i just

 **felicks:** (thinkhelikesyou)

 **felicks:** was that loud enough for you to hear?

 **chan:** you’re not funny

 **felicks:** oh PLEASE hyung i could bet money on you having laughed at that

 **chan:** besides doesn’t he like jisung?

 **felicks:** nooonono nono

 **chan:** but they’re so close and cuddly all of the time

 **felicks:** okay but jisung is touch-starved every second of his life

 **felicks:** it just turns out that jisung is the best opportunity for minho to use to make you jealous

 **chan:** SORRY WHAT

 **felicks:** but don’t worry hyung!!! ‘cause jisung likes hyunjinnie

 **chan:** oh

 **felicks:** okay i’ve said enough gtg hyung

 **felicks:** bye!!!!!

 **chan:** i

 **chan:** dont

 **chan:** okay bye i guess

•

**not bang chan retweeted**

**nat** @peachywoojins • 2d

@bangbangchann being chan but also not being chan at the same time, a thread

•

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 12h

i am whom the people want me to be

 

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 12h

in response to @bangbangchann

jesus what is that supposed to mean

 

 **T.** @alwayssunny • 11h

in response to @bangbangchann

I’m not liking this.

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 8h

in response to @spearbby

it means what you want it to mean

•

 **Eric Nam** **→ subtle asian traits**

 **3h** • **👥**

It was super cool running into Stray Kids at MCountdown today!! I know y’all love Chan and that he’s in this group so enjoy these photos☺️

 

_View all comments_

 

**Emily Dan**

**Alexis Dan** I HATE THIS they’re cute

 

**Summer Trinh**

b-bruh

 

**Chris Bang**

It was fun running into you, sunbae!!

 

**Alexander N**

Sometimes it be like that

•

 **a loves changbin** @spearbby • 1m

okay but if chan’s in sat then doesn’t it make logical sense that he would be on stan twt too

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 1m

in response to @spearbby

dude can you stop getting so many likes and retweets? i’m trying to keep my identity crisis on the downlow

 

 **baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 1m

in response to @bangbangchann

you’re literally the weirdest. i don’t want you as my best friend anymore

 

 **not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 53s

in response to @dancinggemlk

i’m gonna go block you on everything that i have contact with you on

•

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

 **minhoe:** please don’t block me

 **chan:** what’s this?

 **chan:** minho begging for my mercy?

 **minhoe:** (maybe)

 **chan:** oh.

 **minhoe:** are u flustered baby?

 **minhoe:** i’m wiggling my eyebrows rn if u cant tell

 **chan:** goodness you are the weirdest flirter

 **minhoe:** who said i was flirting

 **minhoe:** besides who do you have to compare me with

 **chan:** oh no

 **minhoe:** what?

 **chan:** nothing

 **chan:** oops manager-hyung is calling me bye

 

**private chat: chan and felix**

 

 **chan:** minho is being weird

 **chan:** [attachment: 1 image]

 **felicks:** hyung you are so dense

 **felicks:** like a brick

 **felicks:** chan-brick-hyung

 **chan:** what?

 **felicks:** he obviously likes u

 **chan:** this is fake

 **felicks:** it’s true!!!!

 **felicks:** ask woojin-hyung

 **chan:** fine. he’s the only voice of reason in this house

 

**group chat: chan, woojin, and felix**

 

 **chan:** [attachment: 1 image]

 **chan:** woojinnie

 **chan:** felix claims he likes me

 **Woobear:** Oh

 **Woobear:** You didn’t know that?

 **chan:** WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT ME KNOW THIS

 **felicks:** i told you so brick-hyung

 **chan:** this is terrible news

 **Woobear:** I feel like it shouldn’t be terrible news?

 **chan:** okay i’ve decided to do nothing about my feelings

 **felicks:** sounds like the worst thing you could do

 **Woobear:** I have to agree with Lix on this one

 **chan:** this is dumb

 **chan:** everyone is against me

 **chan:** you know what

 **chan:** i’m gonna go see if 3racha is of any help

 **felicks:** LMAO good luck there brick-hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t kill me i’m already deteriorating from ap season
> 
> \- a


	4. intermission from: life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a revelation??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all have a wonderful day

**group chat: hawt sawce🥵**

 

**chan:** someone help me out please

**ji:** no

**Binnie:** No

**ji:** OMG HYUNG WE’RE SOULMATES

**chan:**...

**chan:** a little bit dramatic if you ask me

**Binnie:** Agreed

**chan:** ok so

**ji:** :(

**Binnie:** It’s okay though ji. Still love you

**ji:** omg

**ji:** i love u too <33

**chan:** can we please focus on my problem and not whatever that was

**ji:** stop being a buzzkill and ruining good moments hyung!!!!

**Binnie:** What’s up hyung

**chan:** thank you bin

**chan:** felix won’t stop calling me brick-hyung

**Binnie:** What?

**ji:** ya know, i always did think you resembled a rectangular prism of clay

**chan:** well apparently i’m as dense as one, so. :))))

**ji:** lmaoooo bro that’s so scary

**ji:** those smiley faces are the scariest things i’ve ever seen channie hyung send

**chan:** shut

**ji:** ok ok

**ji:** so why is your mass over volume equal to that of a brick

**chan:** …

**chan:** basically woojinandfelixsaythatminholikesmeandapparentlyeveryoneknowsbutmeandnowidontknowwhattodowiththisinformation

**Binnie:** Gee hyung

**Binnie:** Nervous much

**ji:** yes! yes!! he does!!

**ji:** like you very!!! much :)

**chan:** WHAT THE HELL

**chan:** i suddenly can’t do this anymore

**Binnie:** Well hyung

**Binnie:** Are the feelings reciprocated?

**chan:** I DONT KNOW

**chan:** MAYBE

**ji:** maybe!! that’s an acceptable answer

**chan:** i admire him a lot and am really affectionate with him but

**chan:** aren’t i like that with all of you guys?

**Binnie:** If I’m being honest

**Binnie:** I’ve always been able to see that it’s different with him

**ji:** ya ur more . squishy and soft

**chan:** jisung what the hell

**chan:** also changbin i refuse to admit this

**Binnie:** Okay well now I guess you’re just a constipated rectangular prism of clay

**ji:** and this, bin hyung, is why i love you

•

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2m

today, i had the wonderful opportunity of going through a crisis about my feelings! a wonderful addition to my ongoing identity crisis

 

**baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 1m

in response to @bangbangchann

geez when i forced u to go all-out stan twt i wasn’t expecting the dry self deprecating humor to come with it

 

**private chat: minho and chan**

 

**minhoe:** everything alright?

**chan:** ya ya we’re good

**minhoe:** okay

**minhoe:** i’m here if you need to talk

**minhoe:** i may be a pile of shit but i’m still your best friend

**minhoe:** your best pile of shit

**chan:** that… about accurately sums it up

**minhoe:** sskdfjskd

**minhoe:** thanks u

 

**minhoe:** so how was your day today

**minhoe:** aside from your crises

**chan:** it was alright

**chan:** i got called a constipated rectangular prism of clay

**chan:** it happens

**minhoe:** lol

**minhoe:** i like that

**minhoe:** who said that

**chan:** changbin

**minhoe:** my new favorite dongsaeng!!

**chan:** who was it before?

**minhoe:** you

**minhoe:** babyboy ;)

**bang chan** has blocked **lee minho.**

 

**group chat: chan, woojin, and felix**

 

**chan:** SO I MAY HAVE JUST PANICKED AND BLOCKED MINHO

**Woobear:** Based on the current circumstances, probably for the better

**felicks:** real brick hours

**chan:** i hate stan twt

**chan:** i’m quitting my job

**Woobear:** What happened?

**chan:** he may or may not have called me babyboy

**chan:** with a ;)

**Woobear:** And this is different from your babygirl babyboy babystay how?

**felicks:** Boom Roasted

**chan:** ok i did not think about that

**Woobear:** Well

**Woobear:** What are you gonna do about this?

**felicks:** hyung why even bother ask you know he won’t do anything

**chan:** absolutely nothing

**felicks:** see

•

**baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 3h

@bangbangchann unblock me you pussy

•

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2h

update: i not only blocked his phone number but also his twt acc

 

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 2h

in response to @bangbangchann

we, uh, don’t talk about this

•

**baby boy minho retweeted**

**a** @spearbby • 3d

everyone’s favorite duo is dead and we are all sad

 

**baby boy minho retweeted**

**a** @spearbby • 3d

@bangbangchann and @dancinggemlk said fuck stay lives

 

**baby boy minho retweeted**

**for jisung** ☼ @softjisungpics • 1d

some pics from the hi-stay bc we are all deprived of our daily @bangbangchann and @dancinggemlk drama

 

**baby boy minho retweeted**

i am too :(

 

> **saw skz 15/1/19 !!!** @straehykeedz • 2d
> 
> anyone know what’s going on rn between @bangbangchann and @dancinggemlk ? i’m confused

 

**baby boy minho** @dancinggemlk • 28m

damn didn’t know i’d miss my bestie this much

 

**a** @spearbby • 20m

in response to @dancinggemlk

shit that’s sad

•

**private chat: woojin and chan**

 

**Woobear:** Minho’s sad

**chan:** awesome! amazing! ask how my feelings are

**Woobear:**...how are your feelings

**chan:** dead

**Woobear:** You know Chan

**Woobear:** I can’t help but notice that ever since you joined stan twt, you’ve been much more dramatic

**chan:** thanks

**Woobear:** I don’t recall that being a good trait

**chan:** again, thanks

**chan:** so about my feelings

**Woobear:** Didn’t we just establish that they’re dead

**chan:** all of them except for the ones for minho

**Woobear:** Now that… was incredibly cheesy

**Woobear:** I have to wash my eyes out

**chan:** no please stay here

**chan:** the thing is

**chan:** idk if i HAVE feelings for him

**Woobear:** Well

**Woobear:** Okay, what do you think of when you hug me?

**chan:** wow look its my best friend who’s very warm and kind and always has my back

**Woobear:** Aw

**Woobear:** Thanks :-)

**Woobear:** Now, what do you think of when you hug Jisung?

**chan:** look at this tiny piece of shit whom i would do anything for

**Woobear:** Okay, Minho

**chan:** what about him

**Woobear:** Oh my gosh. You’re hugging him, obviously

**chan:** can i choose to not talk about this

**Woobear:** No

**chan:** well shit

**chan:** um

**chan:** it’s very nice

**chan:** sometimes i wish he would just

**chan:** [redacted]

**Woobear:** Stan twt taught you well

**Woobear:** What was that gonna be

**chan:** nothing . absolutely nothing

**chan:** but sometimes i wish he would just Kiss Me

**Woobear:** There it is!

**chan:** god now i just feel stupid

**Woobear:** No

**Woobear:** Feelings are natural

**Woobear:** Just talk to him

**chan:** no

**Woobear:** It was worth a shot

•

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 43s

i am taking an intermission

 

**not bang chan** @bangbangchann • 32s

in response to @bangbangchann

from life. don’t know when i’ll be back

**Author's Note:**

> lol uhhhhh lmk if you would like me to continue? updates would be super slow tho cause i’m gonna be Very Busy until school ends which is june :((
> 
> thank you for reading tho! comments n kudos are appreciated  
> -a :)


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